ONE OF THOSE DAYS

Today was absolutely and totally "one of those days". The kind where you wonder if you have ever actually done anything domestic, if you have ever been a wife, mother, or homemaker at all. Because today it seemed like it was my first day on the job! Believe it or not, I am in year SEVENTEEN of doing the whole "domestic" thing. Here is a list of things that I learned today:

1. When you just get out of bed and stumble to the bathroom, always check before you sit down to see if the toddler in the house has pottied just before you have.

2. You must always check behind the 13-year-old to make sure she has packed everything she needs for a day away from home, especially at a horse barn. Or just decide to let her reap the consequences of "not-thinking-things-through". Which today I chose the latter. See #13.

3. Never take a 2-year-old with you when you are selecting and scheduling a hardwood floor installation, because you will spend at least 50% of your time in the bathroom and leave the place not exactly sure what you ordered, what you paid for, or when it will be installed. You just will know you spent a lot of money.

4. If you allow this 2-year-old to insist on carrying the flowers she has selected to the check-out counter, be prepared to have a huge mess and return back to select more non-damaged flowers before making it to the check-out counter.

5. Never a great idea to give above-mentioned 2-year-old an entire Chik-Fil-A meal in her carseat if you are planning on bringing your dogs into your vehicle any time soon, see #15.

6. Planting flowers with a two-year-old when there is a baby pool close by does NOT make for very clean water in the pool.

7. When deciding to empty this baby pool, which is on a high deck, and you have recently spread mulch under the deck, be prepared for all the mulch to end up at the bottom of the hill in your backyard.

8. Upon deciding how to rid your children's clothes, bathing suits and beach towels of the funky smells that consume them when they are left lying wet in garages, the backs of vans, or other various places, for several days - one should not always take the advice of friends. Adding vinegar and baking soda to the laundry seemed like a wonderful, old-time remedy to rid the funky smells. However, if you conjure up the memories of the vinegar and baking soda volcanoes that we used to make as kids - multiply that times 1,000 and that was my laundry room today. Perhaps I should have listened more carefully on the actual amounts.

9. Trying to rid your laundry room of foaming baking soda and laundry detergent is not easy to do with any assortment of containers and/or towels. Rinsing the laundry piece by piece in the utility sink is not a feasible idea either.

10. When all else fails, take said laundry outside and hang it all over the fence and just use a garden hose.

11. When you let two puppies in the backyard with wet, sliding, mulch avalanches, and drying laundry, be prepared to wash two dogs and pick up dirty laundry off the ground. Also, make sure the gate is securely closed or your puppies will have a grand-time galavanting around the neighborhood.

12. Placing your charger in your cell phone + two hyper puppies = broken off charger inside cell phone.

13. When you get a message that says "Mom, when you come to pick me up, bring me some dry clothes and underclothes", you should worry. You will arrive to find her possibly wearing clothes that of which belong to someone's younger brother, apparently because of a forgotton bathing suit. See #2.

14. Before traveling one hour round-trip to retrieve oldest child from all-consuming, never-ending, can-think-of-nothing-else-but-horses riding stable, be sure to contact her by her cell phone - which, I might add, was purchased for her with great hopes of me actually being able to contact her when the need arose - however, I have yet to call her ONE SINGLE TIME in which I actually get a "hello?", apparently riding pants don't have pockets. Time to buy the kid a cell-phone clip. But, I digress. Before traveling one hour round trip to retrieve oldest child from ....... anyway...... be prepared for that child to not necessarily return home with you. Horse trainers love to keep those 13-year-old-can-think-of-nothing-but-horses girls around because they can get an AMAZING amount of work done in a barn. Her bedroom bears a sign "I'd Rather Muck a Stall Than Clean My Room". How very, very true. "I'll bring her home!", horse trainer says. (I am very thankful for Mrs. Leigh - she rocks!) However, after $40 of gas is spent on that round-trip, it's a tiny bit frustrating.

15. Returning home empty-handed except for the unhappy two-year-old in the Chik-Fil-A car seat with two puppies sniffing and licking every nook and cranny of her and her carseat does not make for a pleasurable trip home. See #5.

16. Do not try to attempt to cook dinner when you have had this kind of day - call for take out. HOWEVER, when the little Chinese guys arrives with your dinner at the front-door, it is not a great idea to try to answer the door, answer the ringing phone, and keep two puppies from attacking the little Chinese guy with the food all at the same time. You will lose.

So, I learned a lot today - some of it, I knew better, but didn't have many other options. Some of it - who knew??? Live and learn.....

I think I'll go to bed now.