Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Schooling...

As I am pretty far along into my second year of homeschooling, I thought I had moved on beyond that terrifying "what in the name of all things educational" am I DOING here??  I knew without a doubt that the Lord was calling me to homeschool.  We said we would try it... take it one year at a time... always re-evaluate each year, each kid, what was best for them, and what God was telling us to do.  I'm finding myself in a rut, so to speak.  I have this constant, constant nagging in my head 'are we really doing what is best here?'  - 'am I going to ruin my kids?' - 'are they really learning everything they should be?' .... Is it normal for homeschooling moms to feel this way?  Is this God trying to tell me that our homeschooling time may be coming to a close?  Or is this the rotten dude downstairs trying to fill my head with doubts and lies???

I absolutely LOVE teaching my girls at home... after reading Carrie's post this week about homeschooling her kids... it reaffirmed for me my love for it.   Just like her - I was slightly terrified about spending every waking moment with my children... but of course, it has turned out to be one of the biggest blessings of my life!  The relationships that have sprouted from all the intentional time spent together is priceless.  
But WHY do the doubts always creep in?  Am I alone here?
I know that I cannot duplicate the education they would be receiving at our INCREDIBLE christian school... maybe that is the root of my doubts... seriously, it's the best school on the planet.   But I also know that my girls receive things of far greater value schooling at home than they would in school.   Things that only a mother can give....  things like such close sibling relationships....things like actually having time to PLAY.... things like discovering something really interesting and learning all that we can about it - even if it takes up our whole day....
As the grades get higher... my doubts increase.... kindergarten is easy - and FUN!!  But fifth grade....a struggling fifth grader... I just don't know... what is REALLY best for her?
So.. we march forward, day by day.... it seems like we get nowhere some days...  and some days I feel like "Super Homeschool Mom"!!!!   But.. it's not about me....
Maybe He is telling me that just one of my girls needs to go school next year..... she would thrive in that setting..
Maybe they all three go back???
Maybe both youngers stay home......
Why am I already thinking about next year???  It's OCTOBER!!!
Sigh......  praying, praying....
Am I REALLY cut out to be a homeschool Mom?  Do you ever think the same things?

10 comments:

Stephanie said...

Okay, you know my opinion is that it's "the rotten dude downstairs" filling your head with nonsense! You are such a creative teacher and Mom (if only you could pass some of that on to me)! Remember when you told me to think about my goals for homeschooling and what I wanted to accomplish with Tanek? I think if you focus on what your original goals were/are, you'll know (in spite of the doubts) that you're doing what is best.

Shelby said...

Quick question...what/where do you buy the leter/word thingamabob your youngest daughter is using. The one with the bear. I want something like that but haven't found any. Thanks! By the way, love this post. We all feel this way and it changes day to day.

{LyndsD} said...

I wanted to respond first and foremost with you are most certainly not alone with your feelings!!!! Second I have SO much more to add to this I am trying to figure out if email or a blog post to respond would be best. As I don't want to write a book here. lol But I wanted you to know that you are most certainly not alone. I know I haven't been a reader of your blog long, but I can honestly say that from what I have seen and read you are most certainly cut out to be a homeschooling Mom! And although there are days that seem tougher than others... It seems your girls are thriving. From what I have heard from other homeschooling moms at my church there is a "are we done yet/burn out" wall homeschooling moms hit about October and March every school year. Change of seasons. Same ole routine. Etc. {{{{{HUGS}}}}} I'm praying for strength you in this season of your homeschooling, and for God to show you his will and guidance,. As well as peace to your heart whatever his decision may be.

Caseybumpinalong said...

Oh yes, I feel that way about every other second of the day (and night)! And I have to agree with the previous comment that you certainly seem cut out to be a homeschool mom! From your posts you seem to be very organized and you do sooo much more with your day than I feel we do. I think your kids are extremely blessed to be home with you! And I also agree that October and March are extremely hard months, and that you shouldn't make any decisions about next year in the midst of them! I just knew I was doing the wrong thing by keeping my son home because he was struggling so much by late elementary, but then he hit a turning point and is catching up quickly now that he's in 8th grade. So don't think the ruts will necessarily last forever, if you can trust enough to continue to plow through them.
In any case keep praying. I imagine if God really meant for you to stop homeschooling, He would give that answer loud and clear. Prayers and virtual hugs coming your way.

Caseybumpinalong said...

P.S. I really hope you keep homeschooling because yours are my favorite weekly wrap-up posts! :)

Angela W. said...

Following from the Hip Homeschool Hop! Your pics are phenomenal!!! Saying a prayer for you... but as others have said, "You aren't alone!" I think all homeschooling Mommies battle doubt, fear, and uncertainty at times!

http://www.thewellsspring.blogspot.com

Joy said...

You have a beautiful blog! Stopping by from the Hip Homeschool Hop!

Our Homeschool Fun said...

I am stopping by from HHH and want to say you have a beautiful family and such skill as a photographer too.

I think we as homeschool moms all have these days, periods and thoughts, but just remember that your kids are getting so much more from you and from Him through your homeschool efforts than they will ever get in a classroom!

You are doing a wondeful job from all I see here on your amazing blog!

Blessings!

Carrie said...

I'd be lying if I didn't say that I, too, have times of doubt! I usually regroup with my besties - thankfully we all don't go through those moments at the same time! It also helps me to remember how God led me here and what our eternal goals are for our kids. It's more than just academic. For us it's more than a "Christian" education, too ... it's also about family unity and sharing our faith and our lives together, day in and day out.

From the looks of your Wrap-ups and other pursuits, your girls are more than blessed to have you as their mom and teacher! God is able to lead you to the right decision for your girls and family. He alone knows your girls' future and the best path for them! Glad to call you friend, Heather! {{{Hugs}}}

3G=Growing Godly Girlz said...

Big hugs, hun! I am just beginning our home school journey and really am inspired and encouraged by your blog. I will pray for you to continue feeling peace about your decision to homeschool. We have 3 girls and we are just starting, but I am already having doubts at times. Stay prayed up, I guess is the best we can do!

Yours in Christ,
Aria
http://growing3godlygirlz.blogspot.com/